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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24482980">BROKEN</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/angrybirdcr/pseuds/angrybirdcr'>angrybirdcr</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>BROKEN [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Defending Jacob (TV 2020), Defending Jacob - William Landay</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Anxiety, Domestic Violence, F/M, Family Feels, Grief/Mourning, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Miscarriage, References to Depression</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 08:00:34</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>11,247</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24482980</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/angrybirdcr/pseuds/angrybirdcr</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>The trial was over, but life would never be the same for Andy Barber. A once, successful, happy married man and devoted father, was now a broken man. </p><p>After escaping from your own hell, you just wanted to start from zero at a quiet place.But it all complicates when you cross paths with Andy Barber. Suddenly the paranoiac town’s eyes are all set on you, putting in jeopardy your own dark secret.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Andy Barber &amp; Jacob Barber, Andy Barber &amp; Laurie Barber, Andy Barber &amp; OFC, Andy Barber &amp; Original Female Character, Andy Barber &amp; You, Andy Barber/Laurie Barber, Andy Barber/OFC, Andy Barber/Original Female Character, Andy Barber/You</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>BROKEN [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1768555</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>16</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This fic is part of the incredibly talented @cevansgirl as part of her 3K writing challenge. Which gave me the needed inspiration to write my first Andy Barber fic. Please keep in mind that this fic contains SPOILERS! So, if you haven’t watched the AppleTV series nor read the book, then I advise you that you read this fic under your own discretion as it’s loosely based on them.<br/>**I hope that you like it as much as I did!**</p><p>**DISCLAIMER: I don’t own any rights on Andy Barber or any other Defending Jacob character, this is for entertainment purposes only. I only own the rights to my own original characters. Pictures are taken from the internet and are only for reference, I don’t hold any rights on them either and credits go to owner. Edits are mine**</p><p>** Please DO NOT post any of my works on any other platform or site without my express written consent. Feel free to like, comment and/or reblog. Thank You!**</p><p>Prompt: Hurt/Comfort Troupe &amp; I’ll Never Love Again Song by Lady Gaga (some of the song lyrics are included on the fic on BOLD)</p><p>Pairing: Andy Barber x OFC Isabelle Daugherty </p><p>(Theme Song): I’ll Never Love Again by Lady Gaga</p><p>Series Warnings: Hurt/Comfort, Angst, mention of sensitive topics such as domestic violence, depression, alcohol abuse, injuries, miscarriage and assault.</p><p>Note: This fic it’s an OFC but it’s written in self-insert style. Isabelle’s face claim as Ana de Armas (No, I don’t ship her and Chris together! I just like her acting and she fits the image I visualize of my character).</p>
    </blockquote><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Andy is facing the aftermath of the trial, unable to escape the dire consequences of it. Not too far away from him you’re struggling to get away from your own nightmare.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Chapter Warnings: Angst, mentions of alcohol abuse, depression</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>You adjusted the rear-view mirror to look behind you for the upteenth time during your 2 hours road trip. ‘Nobody is there’, your mental note sending a slight flush of relief through your body. ‘Nobody was following you...yet’, dread filling you up again at the thought<br/>
Your heart wildly beating inside your rib cage, drops of cold sweat running down your forehead and neck, your nerves eating you from the inside out as you anxiously tap your fingers on the steering wheel. Not wanting to draw any police attention, despite your urgency to drive as far away as possible, you try to keep the speed under the limit. You keep the heater on and all windows up, a useless attempt to turn down the coldness traveling up and down your body. The heavy lightning loudly announcing the impending downpour of rain.<br/>
Something was missing…<br/>
Your eyesight then falls on the passenger’s seat. You catch your handbag’s  personal items scattered all over the seat, keys, wallet...phone! ‘How could you forget about that!’ Panic settles in, fastly rolling down your window and without sparing any second thoughts you grab your perfectly working device and throw it out, immediately crashing at the impact.<br/>
You let out a breath that you didn’t know that you were holding…<br/>
--**---**--<br/>
The trial was over…<br/>
But it didn’t matter, despite all the money and how many hours they spent on defending Jacob, at the end the Barber’s name was still smeared and splattered all over the media. They were heartless and relentless on their attack, they basically had a field day out of their misery. They didn’t get a single break since it all started and the day that they walked out of court after the verdict was not the exception.<br/>
As the skies started to clear out, a new storm formed and dragged them back to darkness, leaving them on the deepest hole they had ever been. Drowned in doubts and guilt and tangled up in a web of lies that were slowly being brought to light. The love of a mother blurred the lines between what’s right and what’s logic letting the weight fall upon Andy’s already burnt out shoulders. As he seats in front of the grand jury fighting, with the last of his strength, to keep whatever that remained still of his family safe.  But as the hearing came to a closure it was clear for him that he had failed. And as much as he wanted to punch in the face every single so-called reporter that was waiting for him to come outside, just to shoot their venomous questions at him and to snap unflattering pictures of his blotchy red face, he was drained.<br/>
He manages to walk through the sea of vultures and into his car speeding away. He doesn’t turn back, he doesn’t stop as he can feel the pressure of it all about to pop. He just wants to get home. His hopes for a quiet ending are quickly crushed when he pull into his driveway as he receives the call that he never wanted to get. He can barely hear the words being told to him, his already fuzzy and tired brain  isolating all medical terms aside, hardly focusing on the dreadful news.<br/>
His heart stopped...<br/>
His entire world spinned around as unimaginable pain pierced through him, like a sword being stabbed and twisted inside his chest. He can’t recall the name of who calls him nor any other information given to him, the phone smoothly slips from his hand, his head throbbing as he rubs his hands through his ruffled hair.<br/>
“Hello!? Mr. Barber? Are you there…?... Hello?”<br/>
The distant female voice at the other end of the line is promptly silenced by his unresponsiveness. And as his mind slowly comes out from his daze, he lifts up his eyes only find that his garage door has once again been vandalized with hateful slurs, but he doesn’t care. He's got no fight left on his body to wash it away, not today. That doesn’t stop him from unleashing his wrath, he snaps letting out a pained scream while clenching his fist and angrily hitting the steering wheel with his right hand, over and over and over again, until he can no longer feel his hand.<br/>
--**---**--<br/>
You were far from safe, you still had a long way ahead of you. At that moment your eyes drifted towards the bright red light coming from the fuel indicator, you had to find a gas station soon. You were never attached to the luxuries that came with his last name but ‘Oh, how much you missed your brand new 2020 Audi A6!’ You couldn’t care less that he had given it to you as another ‘sorry’ gift. That car could go for miles without a single worry! Sadly, you could not bring the attention that came with it down to you. Thankfully, you were able to successfully sell it for a really good price that allowed you to get yourself a good deal for a 2019  Nissan Altima at a car dealer upstate. A clean cash transaction, leaving no trace behind.<br/>
Just a few more miles and an old rusting sign let you know that you had found the place you were looking for. Quickly fueling the tank you parked on the side, grabbing your Boston cap expertly covering your light golden brown hair perfectly matched with the only luxury item you kept, your black Ray Bans, you run inside the small decaying store. You thank the heavens above as you notice the clear lack of any security measures other than an old round mirror around the corner and the careless dependent. You carefully pick out a few snacks, a pair of good size scissors and a cheap hair dye and approach the register.<br/>
“Hey, is there a bathroom around here?” You ask avoiding any direct contact with him or any suspicious behavior<br/>
“Outside” He nonchalantly answers while keeping on smoking his cigarette “It’s $18.50”<br/>
“Thanks. Keep the change” You say throwing a $20  bill, grabbing your bag and leaving<br/>
“God! Could this place be anymore disgusting?” You say out loud scrunching your nose at the nasty smell of the neglected cleanliness of the area. “At least the water tap works!” You mutter, cautiously setting the items on the counter and without a second to spare you let your hair out and get to it.<br/>
Half an hour later, a slight mess on your hands and old shirt, which you had to throw away, you were done, your light golden brown hair now replaced by a rich dark chocolate. You sighed, “What have my life become?” Thoughts invaded your mind as you looked at the broken mirror, an accurate metaphorical reflection of your perfectly destroyed life, and firmly holding the scissors on your hand you grabbed a handful of your hair and you.cut.it.off. You watched the pieces falling down as if it was happening in slow motion, a lock of hair for every dark memory and shed tear, the sound of scissoring loudly echoing on the empty space and as you finished chopping it off, you felt your cheeks get wet. You were crying. You cried about your uncertain future, you cried about your painful past and your lost hope. But you had to carry on, for him, and for you. You softly wipe them off with the back of your hands, admiring the final results of your impromptu hairstyling.<br/>
You were not going to cry again…<br/>
You turn away without looking back and drove away<br/>
--**---**--<br/>
He slowly walks inside the place that he had once called home, taking the scene in front of him. He takes off his suit jacket and tie dropping ‘em off on the couch and clumsily unbuttoning his shirt. He couldn’t take it anymore so as he grabbed on his hands the haunting frame holding the perfect picture of his lost family, he screamed at the top of his lungs, not caring at all if the neighbors called the cops on him. One last look and he threw it against the wall, breaking it in a thousand pieces across the floor.<br/>
He lost it...<br/>
He started to smash everything that was in front of him, every picture frame, every decor item and painting, every cushion...he didn’t spare anything that stood on his way, he trashed it all.<br/>
He punched the wall...<br/>
Crimson blood dripping down his hand, constricted chest and unexplainable emotions flooding every cell on his body, he was numb… He pushed himself into the kitchen, not bothering about the trail of red speckles he was leaving behind him. Looking down he sighed, carelessly putting his hand down the running water watching the reddish liquid going down the drain until the burn of the angry marks was soothed enough. He wraps his handkerchief around it and knots it to keep it from falling off.<br/>
He couldn’t think straight…<br/>
He swore to get better, they were going to relocate to start anew, but it was too late. It was all ripped from them... He opens the cabinet and takes the cap off of the bottle drinking the whiskey straight from it. Without a single care in the world he chugs down the liquor like water on the dessert, not having eaten a bite all day long he soon starts to feel the effects of his reverie. Dragging his steps, one foot after the other, swaying through every room of the house. A big gulp at every door, drinking up the courage to face up his fears.<br/>
--**---**--<br/>
You drove for hours, breathing in relief as every mile that you passed meant that you were getting farther away from your haunting nightmares. The dark skies mirroring the current state of your soul and the heavy rain like the endless tears that were long overdue. But as visibility narrowed down and the windshield fogged on you needed to find a temporary shelter for the night. As you drove a couple more miles a small sign down the road gave you the hope that you needed, a motel.<br/>
As it came into view your lips curled up in contentment, it looked nicer than what you expected, a three story house with a nice yard turned into a transitory rest place. Now you could sleep for the night while reviewing your next steps. You carefully parked the car, rushedly pulling back your scattered items inside your handbag and quickly grabbing your backpack from the back seat, you lock the doors and run inside the reception. Dripping wet and shivering, disheveled hair, dark bags under the eyes, ripped old jeans and an almost see-through band t-shirt...definitely the best first impression<br/>
“Welcome to ‘Daisy’s Meadow’! ” A sweet voice called from behind the desk front<br/>
“H-hi” You stuttered with trembling lips “Do you have a room I can rent for tonight?”<br/>
“Oh honey! What happened to you?” The visibly concerned old lady asked walking over to you “Come seat down here!” She signaled to a chair across the desk, lovingly helping you to take a seat while she wrapped a dry towel over you<br/>
“Thanks… you didn’t have to do this” you shyly said<br/>
“That’s not a problem at all hun! You look like you need more than this…” Her sweet eyes and the motherly warmth radiating from her enveloping you like a fluffy heating blanket. “I’m Dorothy, What’s your name sweetie?”<br/>
“Isa- -“ You cut yourself off. ‘My name...who am I?’ You didn’t know anymore… “It’s Elizabeth…” You said barely above a whisper<br/>
“Don’t worry Elizabeth, you’re safe here.” You don’t know why but those words were exactly what you needed to hear. She took your hand on hers in a comforting manner “Let’s get you a room so that you can get a nice hot shower and a good night of sleep.” She stood up once again going behind the desk, coming back with a key on hand that she swiftly puts on yours “Here…I  can see it on your eyes young lady, whatever that has caused you harm, don't let it win. Be strong” With that she smoothly disappeared behind a door, leaving you to ponder on her words. You were safe, at least for tonight…<br/>
Watching the number on the tag you reached the door, quite surprised to see such a beautifully arranged room. It made you wonder if you were going to be charged more for it, but then again the old lady seemed to catch on more than what you let her on. You took upon her advice, dropping your bags next to the bed, you grabbed some dry clothes and soaked in a nice bath, shocked to find a small basket neatly seated on the counter filled with a wide variety of female toiletries, including a couple of rose bomb baths. And for that short moment you forgot the reason you were there, you let go of the burdens graving your heart and washed away the sorrows eating your soul, letting the burning secret cool off as you dozed off.<br/>
But it was time to wake up…<br/>
You dressed on your comfy long wore out T-shirt and undies and hand combed your hair after dry toweling it. Your actions set like an automatic motion as your adrenaline had finally wore off. The moment that you check your handbag again you find the reason of your courage and fighting will, your innocent lost soul. You fell onto your knees, with your back against the bed.<br/>
As you unfolded the wrinkled square of paper, you could feel your heart breaking all over again. You couldn’t protect him, you tried, you fought but HE was stronger than you and at the end you lost. You let the tears fall down while talking to the sweet picture<br/>
“How I wished I could’ve said goodbye and maybe even cry for you” You let your fingers travel across the small black dot at the center as if caressing it with all the love you had “I would’ve broken my heart in two just to save you” You couldn’t hold it anymore, all the pent up agony and suffering seeping through every pore of your body as you fully mournfully sobbed…<br/>
You were broken…<br/>
--**---**--<br/>
His melancholic eyes falling onto the family pictures still hanging on the same spot on the walls, the recently folded laundry resting on top of the washing machine, Laurie’s iconic ochre silk robe hanging loose on the bathroom and her small collection of beauty toiletries seating exactly where she left them. But nothing beats him more than the moment his hand reaches the doorknob to his room, he slowly opens it up stepping in with a regret-filled heart. He stood still,  everything was still in place looking as if he was still there. His hooked Xbox idly waiting for the return of his owner, the boyish decor that he was so fond of, his untouched books laying across his messy desk, a half unpacked suitcase...but they were not there.<br/>
His knees gave up on him, falling flat on his butt with his back against the bed, the now empty bottle laying next to him as tears full of pain came out from him like an uncontrollable tidal wave. The memories of a once happy life now hunting him down, the moment that he was born into this world, caressing his soft baby cheeks for the first time while he held his thumb around his little finger, his first words, his first day at pre-school, his tantrums and sweet gestures, his ludicrous shenanigans, his first day of school and high school… Every single memory playing on his mind like an unforgiving film.<br/>
He was all by himself again…<br/>
Nothing mattered anymore, no secular education nor professional connections, nothing could save his family from the doom that befell upon them. Never in a thousand years did he imagine that he would be in the situation that he was in. And as the mournful silence engulfs the air, his newly found reality comes heavily crashing down on him like a thousand bricks, knocking the wind out of his lungs...<br/>
He was broken…<br/>
--**---**--<br/>
The dim light seeping through the cream colored delicate curtains warmly caressing your cheeks as you slightly stir below the fluffy cocoon of blankets. A familiar and unwelcome sensation  of long needles prickling your skrull with an excruciating pain. The clear tale of a hateful migraine making its presence known. What could you expect after a long sleepless night full of a noisy brain projecting every bad memory like a bad low budget film? Even then, thanks to the silk sheets covering the bed, the dark bags under your eyes toned down their intensity. You had long forgotten how good it felt to sleep alone, without the weight on his hands on your waist. But as much as you wished to stay like that, time was too precious and you had to keep moving. So, you do so.<br/>
After taking a well deserved shower and fixing yourself presentable enough you gathered your things and headed downstairs, where a smiling Dorothy seemed to be expecting you.<br/>
“Good Morning hun! I hope that you had a good night! You’re definitely looking better today!” Her contagious enthusiasm causing a smile on your face.<br/>
“Good Morning Dorothy! Thank you, I did” You kindly say<br/>
“I’m guessing that you’re hungry?” You nod with a slight blush “Come here darling!” She leads you towards a beautifully decorated dining resembling the victorian era. Only another person sat at the other end of the table, an old man wearing a stylish fedora while drinking a cup of black coffee in one hand and reading a newspaper in the other, he politely greets you with a respectful grin and carries on his task. All the while you seat admiring the sophisticated details of the room, making you wonder about the history behind the building and its owner.<br/>
“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” Dorothy interjects placing a nice american breakfast tray in front of you, you thank her as she takes a seat next to you with a cup of tea herself “This house has been on my family for decades, we keep it almost exactly as when it was first acquired. I kept it even after my husband passed away a few years ago” You silently ate your meal as you attentively listened to her warm-hearted story “I raised my kids on here until they married and left. The room you stayed on last night was my daughter Daisy, we actually named this place in honor to her. She is happily married herself, lives with her family on England. She calls me every day, she’s the best daughter I could have ever asked for! You remind me a lot of her, you have the same kind and bright eyes she has” You were moved after her words<br/>
“Thank You… you didn’t have to bare your soul to me but I appreciate it, you’ve been so kind to me!” A lonely tear escapes its cage<br/>
“Oh, dear. There’s nothing to thank me for! I love to receive people on my inn.”<br/>
“Still, your kindness it’s very much appreciated. As much as I’d love to stay here I must go on my way. How much do I owe you?” She doesn’t answer, she just lets out that loving motherly laugh that could warm up the coldest hearts<br/>
“You don’t owe me anything darling...” She says taking your hand in hers<br/>
“But...”<br/>
“But nothing...” She cuts you off “You needed refuge and you found it. If you ever need it again, my doors will always be open for you” You felt like crying at her gesture “Just promise me one thing though”<br/>
“Anything” You say in a cracked voice<br/>
“Be happy” You simply nod letting out a small chuckle, wiping off the few treacherous tears that fell<br/>
“Very well then.” You stand up taking your belongings, setting your room key on the table, walking towards the exit “I’ll forever keep you in my heart” You manage to tell her, prompting a tender hug from her that you openly return<br/>
“Be safe, doll” She says waving a tearful goodbye like a mother sending off to college her kid. You turn back one last time<br/>
“Do you know what’s the closest town?...” She answers you as you walk out the door<br/>
As you drive away from the inn and slowly start to get closer to your destination, you can’t stop the excitement and fear that freely flow through your veins, what awaits you there? a new beginning? or a new nightmare? Your heart beats faster as your eyes meet the big sign ahead of you<br/>
“Welcome to Newton, The Garden City”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Andy is trying to come to terms with the news that changed his life. While Isabelle finds her way into the Town’s claws finally meeting the mysterious Andrew Barber in the least expected way.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>CHAPTER WARNINGS: MAJOR CHARACTER DEATH, HEAVY ANGST! Alcohol abuse, depression, grief, harassment</p><p>NOTE!: This series has a particular sad underlying tone to it since the main characters are dealing with grief and a dark past of their own, this is they journey in finding their way back to some kind of normalcy, to somehow regain their life and to move on. So, please be understanding that this chapter is HEAVY  ANGST ! Thanks for reading!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Darkness...</p><p>That’s what engulfed him after drowning his pain into the expensive whiskey that he had no qualm to spend in a single night. A skull piercing migraine welcomes him into his newly found soul-consuming loneliness, if numbness can be considered a feeling then that’s all that he got. He reaches for his phone only to find the last bits of his hope gone, a text message reminds him of the downturn of events. Since the time he received that dreadful phone call his life changed. At that moment, he felt like setting the world on fire and let it burn. Dragging his feet in a robotical manner he somehow manages to get under the shower head, the hot water the only warmth on him as glacier ice now covered his heart. He watched the remains of the dried blood on his hand being washed away only leaving an angry reddish and purple mark on its place. There’s a heaviness lingering in the air that suffocates every cell on his body but he chooses to ignore it like he is trying to do with the tightening knot building on his throat. And it’s with the last of his strength that he now finds himself tangled into a web of never ending phone calls with incompetent customer service agents and bank account draining payments.</p><p>“We are sorry for your loss”</p><p>“We can’t help you Sir”</p><p>“Your insurance doesn’t cover this...that…”</p><p>He was tired of hearing those sentences being told to him over and over again without any true sincerity behind them, years of being a responsible man, paying on time his monthly fees and planning ahead, all for nothing, simply thrown out of the window by plain and vain technicalities. Building rage begging for release!</p><p>One, two, three…</p><p>The ear splitting tic toc of the clock killed the remains of his patience, after everything that he smacked and broke before, he was still in awe at how did that freakin vintage ugly looking thing made it out alive, but not for long… One step, one crack and it was over. Silence conquered the empty space once again. Rubbing his hands over his face, he sighs taking a look of everything that he still has left to do: flowers, casket, burial… His knees buckle under him and rivulets of tears stream down his face for what seems to be the upteenth time now. Angrily rubbing his hands through his hair, the knot on his throat unties itself and loud sobs leave him without restrain. After everything that they went through, his only haunting thoughts were how he wasn’t able to be a good father nor a good man.</p><p> </p><p>–*—*– </p><p>You sighed in relief after reaching your destination, you park the car in the closest empty spot  that you find, which happens to be at the local park. You look at the almost empty space in awe, it had been a long time since the last time that you were allowed into a public area, it was almost a foreign feeling. Taking your phone, the small brown bag holding your cheese sandwich and coffee, you lock the car and slowly walk down the track, you take a deep breath filling your lungs with the fresh cool air, closing your eyes, completely immersed in the feeling. You drink in the moment, then open your eyes to find a nice seat where you can rest before your appointment. Is not even that early in the morning, nor is it a school day, so you wonder as to why the lack of people is about.  Your heart is shattered, your mind is dazed, your body is recovering but you can’t help but delight in the exquisite flavor and texture attacking your taste buds. Maybe it was the lack of recent outdoor experiences or the bubbling anxiety churning in your stomach, but just being there brought goosebumps on your skin. </p><p>“Are you new here, I haven’t seen you around?” A man said, taking seat next to you, he seemed to just have finished his run and was catching his breath. You unconsciously shifted uncomfortable, weary of his unknown intentions.</p><p>“Yeah?!” His burlesque smirk making you swallow a dry gulp in nervousness, there was a dark glint on his eyes that made your skin crawl</p><p>“ I’m sorry, didn’t mean to scare you.  it’s just that this is not a place people is looking to move in but out if you get what I mean…”</p><p>“Actually, No, I don’t” You were now annoyed by his cocky attitude so you send a warning glare his way</p><p>“Hey, mean no harm” He puts his hands up in mock surrender “But just a little warning before I go: This town is darker than it seems and holds more secrets than they let known. So, Welcome then…and good luck ” With that he stands up and goes his way, he doesn’t wait for your reply either, leaving you baffled. What was worse is that he left you a bitter feeling as if you were going to be seeing him more, you didn’t like it the last bit. All reverie now long forgotten, you look down at your half eaten sandwich with pity as you drop it into the closest trash bin, taking one last big gulp of your black coffee before the cup closely followed the same demise.</p><p>“Was this the right choice?” Suddenly you didn’t know it anymore </p><p>–*—*– <br/>It had to be done</p><p>He had lost himself somewhere along the way, he tirelessly carried the weight of it all by himself without complain, he shielded his family from the blazing flames yet they still got burned. Nobody was left out unscathed.  He had to pick up the pieces left of him and to try to glue them back together without caring if the cracks would be easily seen. And even if it was killing him inside he had to face it standing up. He had to prove to his father that even when his love wasn’t enough to protect them that he would still be there holding them and despite all he was a better man than him. But there wasn’t an easy way of doing this, it was better to just rip the band aid off in one go than to uselessly prolong the unavoidable. </p><p>The time had come</p><p>But how was he supposed to tell a mother that her child passed away while she survived?</p><p>He himself didn’t know how he was breathing, when he felt like an empty shell of who he once was. His mind and heart were divided but they were bounded by love and the vows he solemnly swore at the altar. He takes a deep intake of breath as he walks through the elevator doors, each step he took he could feel his heart rate increasing to concerning levels. He rubbed his hands together as cold shivers traveled through his every pore. He finally walked inside her room.</p><p>“Andy, you came… I thought that after last time you…”</p><p>“That I would what Laurie? Cowardly run away? I told you that I love you even if it didn’t mean much to you… you turned your back on me not the other way around.”</p><p>“I shouldn’t have…”</p><p>“But you did… We can’t change the past now, can we?” He says moving closer to her, his face visibly softening “I promised you, no, I vowed to you in front of God, that I would be with you for good and for worse, in sickness and health and I meant it Laurs… I did” He seats on the chair next to her bed, sweetly grabbing her hand on his. He turns his head down, a treacherous tear rolling down his cheek</p><p>“How’s Jacob? Has he made any improvement yet?” The mention of his name brought all the emotions back, no words were needed as his face was speaking for him “Andy?... please answer me!” She raised her voice shaking his hand “LOOK AT ME!” As he looks up to meet her eyes,his cerulean eyes confirmed to her what she was already suspecting “No, no, no, no… please tell me that is  NOT true!” She cried on his chest as he pulled her to him</p><p>“My baby… I killed my baby! What have I done Andrew? I’m a monster!” She yelled at the top of her lungs, struggling into his arms as he only held her hysterical figure impossibly closer “You hate me, don’t you? You want me dead too! JUST ADMIT IT! I MURDERED OUR CHILD!”</p><p>“NO! Laurie STOP! I don’t hate you, you didn’t kill him! The accident did… Stop saying that!” He cried with her in a pained voice, almost as loud as her. The powerlessness and feebleness cursing through his veins, tugging at his strings like old strained guitar cords about to burst. </p><p>“Nooooo… take me with him…I have to see him...please let me see him.. I have to tell him I’m sorry! I didnt mean to, I didn’t want to, I wasn’t thinking clearly...PLEASE” She frantically begged him, throwing her arms around him, crazily trashing on the bed. He couldn’t take it anymore, his red eyes and tear stained face would have brought the strongest man to its knees. Two parents desperately grieving out loud the loss of their only child. He briefly let go of his emotionally unstable wife to press on the call button, not that it was needed anyways, as their loud cries for help could be heard all the way into the next ward. Nurses and doctor came rushing in, a needle on her arm and she was soon under the effects of a deep slumber. Utter shock struck his face, he knew something like this could happen but he just wasn’t ready to witness it</p><p>“Sir, are you ok?” The distant voice of the nurse ring on his ears “Maybe you should seat down and let us take a look at you too”</p><p>“No, I’m ok...Thanks… I’m ok” She didn’t insist anymore. Soon he was sitting down next to her sleeping form, sweetly caressing her hand and whispering sweet nothings into her ear, she couldn’t hear him but he hoped that she would feel his love. </p><p>“How long will she be out?”</p><p>“It depends on the patient but based on the dosis she won’t wake up most likely until tomorrow” He nods, heavily sighing. The walls of the room felt like they were slowly but surely shrinking on him, cutting the air short and making his heart beat faster</p><p>“I’m sorry Laurie, I truly am…” He wanted to stay, he needed her to feel him being there for her but his troubling mixed emotions were itching to be let out  “I love you” He kissed her forehead and leaves<br/>–*—*– <br/>You impatiently shook your legs in the posh waiting area, until you heard your name being called</p><p>“Ms. Valentine! Hi How are you today? My name is Melanie and I will be your realtor” A good looking woman said in an annoying high pitched voice. You politely shake hands with her “Please come with me down this way” You quickly follow her and seat crossing your legs “Based on your form I’ve already selected a few options that we can start looking up today” A fake smile you knew too well yourself, you didn’t come to play games. For once you were taking full control of your life and were not about to lose it to the one in front of you</p><p>“Ms. Ferguson” You say looking at the name tag on the desk “You earn based on commissions, don’t you?” She looks baffled for a moment</p><p>“Hhmm yeah I do… why do y-”</p><p>“Great” You cut her off “Then I suggest you we stick up to what I requested when I made this appointment” Her mouth slightly agape “With that on mind, you’re going to look back into those files, check for those fitting the criteria I specified on there, you’re going to show it to me and if I see it fit enough we’re going to sign the papers, you will give me the key and I’ll be out of my way” All of your confidence poured out into each word and through a steely glare</p><p>“Sure, sure.. Let me see...This one seems to be right, but the price” She stutters, unabashedly giving you a once over look</p><p>“Melanie, I said that the price doesn’t matter, didn’t I?” She checks on the paper once more, rushedly handing you the one, you quickly glance at it making up your mind</p><p>“I’ll take it” You lock your eyes with hers, swiftly  pulling a stack of cash out of your purse and laying it on her desk, you let out a taunting smirk as she pouts her lips on a tight line</p><p>“Oh, right… Please give me one second to get the paperwork ready” She moves around printing papers. As she worked on it, your mind drifted away to all those times that HE was the one barking up the orders around and you would be the one following ‘em like a puppy. It made your blood boil knowing how long it took you to grow a backbone and to let it all behind. You were not proud of your actions but you didn’t regret breaking up those chains either. </p><p>If only you would have done it sooner...</p><p>You were brought out from your thoughts by the same nagging voice from Melanie</p><p>“Everything is ready Miss Valentine. Just please sign where the x marks are and the house will be yours for as long as you wish” Taking a deep intake of breath, you rush out the still foreign signature on your hands, soon finding the keys being laid on your palm. </p><p>“A pleasure making business with you” You shake hands with her again. Apparently nowadays they also gave you a welcome package, so you found yourself waiting to receive it when your attention was redirected towards the now turned on TV. A slideshow of pictures showing two teenagers, Ben Rifkin and Hope Connors, followed by an excerpt video of a family leaving the courtroom, big bold letters subtitling it “Was Jacob Barber really innocent?”</p><p> You were never one to believe in appearances, having been on the dark side of what hell looked like and felt like behind closed doors and off cameras, you learn to never be quick to judge on what others showed you. There was something on the face of the distressed father that tugged your strings. The emptiness on the mother’s eyes and the expressionless face of the teenager being shielded away by his parents… you could only imagine what they must had gone through.</p><p>“Here it is Miss Valentine” Melanie’s voice taking your eyes off the screen, you take the package from her hands, she follows where your eyes were before “This town is a good one but there are clearly some bad apples around. Don’t let that kid’s face fool you. He definitely did it!”</p><p>“Were you there when it happened?” Your question clearly taken her aback</p><p>“No, but they said...” You cut her off once again</p><p>“Then you don’t know. Someone else took the blame for it and the court declared its verdict. So what good is there to gossip about it?” You smirk at her shocked expression “Never judge a book by its cover, ever heard of it Miss Ferguson? Then never forget it” You don’t wait to hear whatever her excuse might be. You just turn her back on her and walk away.</p><p> Second warning of the day, a murder happened here...<br/>–*—*– <br/>He aimlessly walks, after leaving the hospital, with nowhere to go in mind. Most places held painful memories, from where he held hands with Laurie to where Jacob used to play as a child. It was all too much, that was without adding the obvious stares he got from people on the street that recognized him as the father of a murderer. It didn’t matter what the court ruled, society had already judged them and branded him as guilty. Thousand of pieces of evidence could have been shown that it wouldn’t have changed their perception. Hope Connor’s dead did not help one bit to make it go away. It was all one big haunting ghost that chased him wherever that he turned his eyes to. The target of their baseless hatred was gone and he was the only one who knew how much his heart was bleeding. He wanted to climb up to the biggest mountain to scream out loud to the world, until his voice was no more. Soon, his feet found their way towards the only place that nobody dared to judge because they themselves held their own share of sins.</p><p>One beer…</p><p>Then other…</p><p>And other again…</p><p>This wasn’t him but he didn’t care anymore. He had all the reasons on the world to want to forget. His heart ached so much, it was burning him inside and out, he wanted to rip it off of his chest and to join Jacob on his demise but he couldn’t, he still had Laurie. His love for her was the only thread holding his sanity and stopping him from pulling the plug altogether. </p><p>You on the other end, had a long day settling down on what you hoped would be your temporary home, at least for a little while. But god you needed a drink, being trapped in a house was not the goal you had in mind when you ran away from your past. Now you found yourself enjoying the cold feeling the beer bottle on your hand, you were not getting drunk despite having a thousand reasons to want to numb the pain away the feeling of oblivion was not something that you were looking forward. You wanted to remember, you needed to remember everything that HE put you through, all that you lost because of him, every brutal beating he gave you, every forced smile, every scar that laid on your body and every lie that he forced you to tell, every tear that you shed, all of it…He was the reason why you didn’t want to feel another touch, nor to want another kiss, he was why you didn’t want to give your heart away and why you will never love again. He ripped it all away, because of him you did the unforgivable. But even if you now had a target on your back and would forever have to carry the guilt over your shoulders, if you had to choose, you would do it all over again. To regain your life, your freedom, nobody was taking it away from you ever again</p><p>“Hey beautiful...” A lust filled voice brushed against your ear, you felt bile rising up your throat</p><p>“Did you lost something?” You nonchalantly answer taking the last gulp of your bottle</p><p>“I don’t know, I think I just found her” His alcohol breath hitting your nostrils in a wrong way</p><p>“I’m sorry but I’m not interested”</p><p>“C’mmon don’t be like that, I know that you want it. If not what else would someone like you be here by herself?” He licked his lips eyeing you up and down. It sent the wrong kind of shivers through your body, it reminded you too much of the one that still appears on your nightmares</p><p>“You’re right” You stand up in front of him, throwing a glare his way “I shouldn’t have come here” You brush him off, dropping a $10 bill on the counter and rapidly moving away. But things are never easy, are they? He grabs your wrist and pushes you towards him, something turns in on your mind and your  muscles memory reacts by themselves finding your knee collide between his legs</p><p>“I said NO!” You yell at him as you watch him fall to his knees holding himself, all the eyes on you, including those of the man that seemed familiar to you. You don’t stay a single more second  there</p><p>“B*tch! Come here!” The man was not going down that easily. As soon as he could held himself up he runs after you.</p><p>A distraught Andy shook his head, he had more than enough on his plate already. But he was still a good man. He would be damned if he let something happen to the lady leaving the place being followed by a drunkard moron. </p><p>You quicken your steps, you hadn’t realized how late it was as nightfall was over you now. You haven’t reach the parking lot where your car was when your arm was violently yanked backwards, a yelp leaving your lips</p><p>“Yo! I told ya you should have come with me before!”  The same disgusting voice from before sounds, you don’t miss a beat fastly reacting by butt heading him hard making him stumble back. Yet you don’t have time to process what happens next, as your fears are quickly turned into a relief sigh when he is yanked away from you. You can’t identify the figure of your savior at first, it isn’t until the moment when he turns and the dim light of the street shines above him that you see his face. He repeatedly punches your attacker until he draws blood from him, an unmeasured anger being unleashed on him. For a second you fear for his life</p><p>“Stop!” You finally find your voice. Truth is you couldn’t care any less about the ill-intentioned man on the receiving end of the wrath, you were concerned about your knight in shining armor doing something that he would later regret. You saw his eyes briefly lock with yours before throwing a last punch to the battered man</p><p>“Are you going to kill me like your murderer soon did too?” </p><p>What? Your brain sparks at that. Your eyes then go wide as saucers as you remembered where you had seen him before, he was the man from the news. He was Andrew Barber himself. You slightly flinch not in fear but surprise, an indescribable wave of repressed emotions radiating from him, the hurtful words the media used to describe his son’s case was utterly despicable. Innocent until proven otherwise did not applied for them, they were vilely crucified and exposed for the world to see. If his actions right now were any indication about what had transpired for them at home, then you were sure that hell was at their door. Suddenly your heart ached, you too were once a mother and could only imagine the  </p><p>“You really want to stay to find out?” He pulls him by the neck as he shakes his head  “No? I thought so, then don’t you dare to mention my son out of your dirty mouth ever again and don’t you even think about opening your mouth about what happened here. Am I clear?” The guy just nods “LEAVE!” He barks at him as he scurries away grabbing his bruised jaw. You just stand there watching in awe as you recovered from the initial shock “Aren’t you going to run away too?” He questions you</p><p>“Why would I, didn’t you just save me from him?”</p><p>“You heard him, didn’t you?” </p><p>“I  heard him grunt as you beat the crap out of him” He furrowed his eyebrows in confusion “If you mean that I was to run over what he told you, then he should have be afraid of me and not you... ” He gives you a puzzled look and you let a nervous half smile as he seemingly relaxed </p><p>“Who are you?” He says with an amused look</p><p>“Just someone new in town…but with such warm welcome I’m starting to doubt my choice of safe haven” You anxiously bite your lip, letting your walls down for second for him to see through them, a flicker of understanding crossing on his face</p><p>“What happened to you?” His previous anger now replaced by a softer look and kinder voice</p><p>“We all have our own secrets Mr. Barber” He sighs, nodding his head.</p><p>“That we do, that we do” He says, finally showing you the smile behind the frown. </p><p>And for a brief moment you both forgot your pain</p><p> You started walking towards your car. He watching your back like the trusty bodyguard you never had, giving you a sense of security you always wished for. </p><p>“Name’s Elizabeth Valentine” You extend your hand to him, he happily obliges. His big warm hand catching your small one. A warmth that reached your every pore “Thank You”</p><p>“My pleasure, welcome to Newton Miss Valentine” His warm smile that you return with one of your own.</p><p>Maybe staying here won’t be that bad...</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>A/N: Thank you for reading! I promise that more of her story will be slowly revealed and their meeting was the first of many more upcoming interactions between them. Soon, angst will take the back seat to give room for a little bit of mystery! So be ready! :)</p>
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<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Andy awakes to disturbing news that force his hand into an all out stance. At the same time Isabelle deals with her own end of the stick as her past continues to manifest into her new life.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>CHAPTER WARNINGS: 18+. Language! Heavy Angst! Description of grief, depression, anxiety, nightmares with brief mentions of violence and brief depiction of alcohol abuse. YOUR MEDIA CONSUMPTION IS YOUR OWN RESPONSIBILITY</p><p>Note: Dream sequence is identified by italics quotations and it opens and closes with (** *** **)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>An all-engulfing somber cloud seemed to follow him at every step that he took, that was his every minute of his every day. The relentless hammering inside his head, a painful reminder of his careless alcohol abuse the prior night. But, as he began his daily routine groggily walking to get the newspaper from his doorstep, his begrudging attitude against the world was only exalted by the sudden rush of iced blood that traveled up his spine the moment that his eyes caught on the headlines plastered on the first page</p><p>
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  <p>Andy’s face went pale at the news<em>, why was his family in the front page </em><strong><em>AGAIN</em></strong><em>?! why on earth did they further smear his son’s name like this? </em>Even after death, <em>wouldn’t he be granted some mercy? How could they do this?</em> And most importantly,<strong><em> how did they find out so soon? </em></strong>His mind was racing and he could barely contain the anger that simmered from the scarlet molten  running on his veins </p>
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  <p>“<strong><em>Lynn</em></strong>!” He called her name the moment she picked up his call</p>
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  <p>“I know, I just saw it myself… I’m <em>so sorry </em>for your loss Andy” She softly spoke</p>
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  <p>“<em>Yeah</em>...How did they find out? He-- He <em>just </em>passed away! I haven’t even been able to arrange his funeral and they’re already plastering his name on the first page!!” He shouted, furiously pacing on the room as his rage only fueled the almost unbearable pounding in his head</p>
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  <p>“I don’t know that yet, my best guess is someone at the hospital must have spoken to them. News of Jacob’s state was highly kept under wraps”</p>
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  <p>“Well, apparently <em>not </em>tightly enough” He huffed, roughly rubbing his face  </p>
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  <p>“Listen to me, I can only imagine how you must be feeling right now but please do not make any rash decisions. I’ll meet you at the hospital where we can try to figure this out together, but until then don’t do anything, okay?” Her soft motherly tone reminding him of breathing in again “Andy?!” She called again</p>
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  <p>“<em>Yeah</em>, <em>yeah</em>… I’m here. I got it, I’ll meet you there soon” He sighed hanging up the call. He carelessly threw his phone in the couch before taking a seat himself, an exasperated groan leaving his lips</p>
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    <em>“Please, Matt I beg you! Please STOP!!” She helplessly cried out, trying to crawl away from his wrath </em>
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    <em>“Stop crying you Bitch! I told you that you can’t escape! You’ll always be MINE!” He said as he threw another blow straight to her abdomen, it wasn’t the typical fist-connects-with-ribs hit but the kind he perfectly knew that wouldn’t leave a mark on her but that it would still effectively accomplish the intended task of getting her down to her knees with the most internal damage as possible</em>
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    <em>She cried holding her side as he delivered a hit stronger than any fist, his words. Those piercing daggers always aimed to her heart, the ones that never failed to crush her hopes like a glass of wine dropped to the floor.</em>
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    <em>“You will NEVER leave me! You’re nothing without me and if you ever dared to accuse me then you’ll do well to remember that NOBODY will believe you over me!” He snarled at her, remarking each word with another equally powerful strike while reveling in the tears and silent gasps of her parted lips “You’re useless!” He angrily  said before stomping away, leaving her curled up on the floor in a pool of her pain</em>
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    <em>It was just too much</em>
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    <em>She didn’t want this, he had crossed the line many times before, but this time around, as he reminded her the power that he held over her and the influence that he had over the town, she knew that there was no other way out...</em>
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  <p>You jolted awake in bed, beads of sweat covering your face and sliding down your neck and chest. It wasn’t the first time that such a nightmare invaded your mind <em>but it always hurt you all the same ads if it was the first time. </em>You straightened in place before tightly hugging your knees to your chest, a comfort action, as you let the tears continue to freely flow down your cheeks because even in your unconscious state the dam had broken and loud sobs racked your body. </p>
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  <p>Yet, it was the birds chirping at your window which remained as one of your favorite parts of the day, you honestly couldn’t remember when was the last time that you enjoyed such a banal reverie since… <em>since </em><strong><em>him</em></strong>. But, <em>here you were, </em>free and happy-- <em>or at least relatively</em>, based on your current predicament. Just last night you faced your first challenge since your arrival and yet another unexpected encounter occurred.<strong><em> What else was to be expected here? </em></strong>Something in your guts told you that there was just so much more of this town than what meets the eye, <em>and it wasn’t good…</em></p>
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  <p>Still part of you wished for your fears to be unfounded and that this could become the place where you would start anew. </p>
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  <p>As your sobs subsided you made your way through your daily routine. Those banal and basic actions like simply taking a shower for as long as you wanted to <em>without the fear of him calling your name</em>, followed by the joy of choosing your clothes for the day and<em> not having to dress up in what he had chosen for you</em>, topped with the timeless decision making of whether or not you wanted to eat and what that would be and<em> not what he wanted you to</em>...All of it acquiring an even more special meaning to you after those hellish nights.</p>
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  <p>But even then, <em>you couldn’t shake off the bitter aftertaste coursing through your veins. </em>Neither did the trembling that traveled up and down your wrecked nerves as if reliving those memories brought forth the physical pain and the asphyxiating distress that consumed your soul. Yet, part of your fears became a reality the moment that your eyes met the newspaper’s headline of the day</p>
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      <em>‘How did they find out about this?’</em>
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  <p>The first thought that crossed your mind, if this boy was the ADA’s son, one that just got acquitted on a murder case, he owed to have privacy and no news of this should have made it, or at least not this fast if you were to believe he just passed away. </p>
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    <em>Then yesterday…</em>
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  <p>Suddenly, <em>it all made sense to you.</em> The way that he had acted in that alley and the words that he used… He is a grieving father whose wife and son got into a terrible accident after going through the public humiliation of the draining process of a trial, that at the end proved their son’s innocence, yet it didn’t seem to end there. <em>Were they really this cruel?</em> Just the thought made your heart clench and an unavoidable wave of empathy washed over you, ‘how much pain and suffering he must be going through?!’</p>
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    <em>Empathy</em>
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    <p>Such a fragile emotion, needed by everyone, yet possessed only by a few. If only someone had shown you some, then maybe---<strong><em>just maybe</em></strong>, things would have been so different. You knew what it was to be down in the pits of hell and it was not within your heart to ignore it like they ignored you. Many would argue that you should focus on yourself, to get your feet settled first but if anything that you had learned after leaving everything behind was that there was no guarantee of a tomorrow.</p>
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      <p>Andy agitatedly walked into the hospital like a bull on the loose, his rage knew no limits, he had lost his only son and yet he couldn’t even grieve him in peace. He immediately met Lynn in the lobby, <em>her face said it all</em></p>
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      <p>“I’m sorry Andy, this was <em>never </em>meant to happen. The hospital has opened up an internal investigation on the responsible one” As she said that he felt his blood boiling up, he was right, someone had sold himself up in exchange of a few spared bills</p>
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      <p>“Do we have a name?” He angrily asked, his hands firmly set in his hips and jaw tightly clenched</p>
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      <p>“We do, it was one of the male nurses on the floor. He sold the story over to the newspaper. Apparently the hospital’s higher ups just came to know about it as well as we got in touch with them”</p>
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      <p>“Where the fuck is him? I <em>need </em>to see him...” He said through gritted teeth, red etched in his ears and cheeks, raw rage coursed through his veins as he opened and closed his fists itching to collide against his face</p>
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      <p>“<em>Andy</em>… I’m warning you. Laurie is still hospitalized and you’re the only one that she has. You cannot afford to go to jail over battering and assault, not like this when he’s clearly the one that shall face the consequences for what he did” She tried to reason with him, her hands softly rubbing over his arm</p>
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        <em>He let out a heavy exhale charged with tension</em>
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      <p>“I’ve tried Lynn, so damn hard to stay away from everything and to focus in my family but--” He paused to take a sharp intake of air as the suffocating constriction in his chest only seemed  to grow “...But <strong><em>THEY </em></strong>keep coming at us! I don’t know how much longer can I take before I snap and further ruin everything” He said, meeting her equally conflicted eyes</p>
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      <p>“I know, <em>I know</em>… There’s just how much pressure a man can take after all. I know that you still have to figure things out about Jacob’s burial but have you considered continuing Laurie’s and yours initial plan to move away from Newton?” He sighed</p>
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      <p>“I have…<em> After Jake,, </em>I don’t think that either of us could keep on living here. But it will all depend on Laurie and her recovery” He softly shook his head</p>
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      <p>“That’s good… <em>Now</em>, I need you to stay focused and remember what you just told me, okay?” She said as he knitted brows in confusion, until he followed her line of sight, a man being escorted by hospital’s security came into view</p>
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      <p>“You fuckin idiot!!!” Andy lost his cool, he pounced on the man and effortlessly grabbed him by the neck slamming him against the wall “So you’re the fuckin’ bastard who went to the press, huh?! Feeling good about yourself talking about the death of a kid?!” He shouted at him with a scrunched up face full of disgust “<em><strong>YOU DESTROYED MY FAMILY FROM THE INSIDE OUT WHAT ELSE DO YOU WANT FROM US</strong></em>!!” He yelled at him, although his words were clearly not directed just at him but to all of those who had conjured up against them</p>
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      <p>“I’m truly sorry, Mr. Barber...” The man shakingly said, pulling his hands up in surrender, making Andy snort a sarcastic laugh</p>
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    <div class="">
      <p>“<em><strong>YOU ARE SORRY!?</strong></em> You really want me to believe that?” He said tightening his grip “Oh, you <em>will </em>be” He said, voice deep and low laced in anger and indignation before his fist graciously blessed his face with the strength of an angry, grieving father. </p>
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      <p>The sound mixed with the shocked gasps of Lynn and the other people around that watched the scene with caution. As he was about to punch him again his arm was held back by one of the security guards</p>
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      <p>“<strong><em>LET HIM GO ANDY!</em></strong>” Lynn called him “Don’t do this <em>Andrew</em>,,, let them take him up, we’ll figure this up together” She said as he withdrew himself from the guard’s arms, shaking it off and fixing up his jacket</p>
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      <p><em>“It’s okay, it’s okay” </em>He repeated, his hands up in surrender letting them take him away “I don’t care what you have to do, make him take a plea or whatever it takes but I do not want to see him again. Nor do I want to set a foot inside a court ever again” He remarked the words through gritted teeth</p>
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      <p>“<em>Okay</em>, that’s fine. I can make that happen” She calmly said as she motioned for the guards to continue their journey “Right now you won’t be needed except for some signatures on official paperwork but I’ll fill you in on that later. For now, why don’t you go up to check up on Laurie? Since I’m not sure whether or not this might have reached her or not” She explained as he nodded watching her retire with the men.</p>
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    <div class="">
      <p>He slowly made his way up to her room, dreading having to explain this mess to her, especially not when she was not in a clear space of mind. Each step that he took only exacerbating the anxiety coursing through his veins. Thankfully as he reached her floor, his fears were soon dissipated.</p>
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    <div class="">
      <p>“Mr. Barber, good to see you!” Dr. Mathinson, Laurie’s new psychiatrist said “I believe I know the reason for your visit today, let me save you the headache. She doesn’t know about the news being leaked to the media” Andy eyed him curiously  “She’s been sedated for a good part of the day and no one is allowed on her wing except for you and a few designated medical personnel”</p>
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      <p>“Well, please pardon my distrust in the effectivity of such measures after waking up to see my son’s death splattered over the news” Andy sarcastically said, evident anger laced on his words, he did not take lightly to have had his family’s affairs violated by their carelessness</p>
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    <div class="">
      <p>“Duly noted Mr. Barber, but rest assured that it won’t happen again”</p>
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    <div class="">
      <p>“<em>Oh, I do! </em>Because if it does my hand won’t tremble to sue every single one of you ” He firmly said making him nervously swallow</p>
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    <div class="">
      <p><em>“Of course,</em> you can get in to visit your wife if you wish, now if you excuse me I do have other patients to check upon” He said before walking away</p>
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    <div class="">
      <p>For a moment Andy wondered if he should get inside her room or not, he wasn’t sure if she would wake up anytime soon but something was keeping him glued to the spot. He simply watched her through the glass doors with his arms crossed sporting an unreadable expression on. For the first time since everything started, he felt <em>repelled </em>from getting inside to hold her hand and that, that terribly frightened him.</p>
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    <div class="">
      <p>
        <em>
          <strong>‘What did it mean for them?’</strong>
        </em>
      </p>
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    <div class="">
      <p>He didn’t have the strength to trespass the doors that separated him from her, it felt wrong and unnatural, even when he had not had an issue the day prior to hold her in his arms. But now as the weight of her actions dawned on him he found it impossible to take a step forward, but he did not leave until he was assured of her health improvement and that now it all depended on her. He should have left right away, but his feet had a mind of their own as he soon found himself standing in front of the place that he had expected it the least</p>
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      <p>
        <a href="https://ibb.co/SrLJzzt">
          
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      <p>After the distressing beginning of your day, you had done your best to spend the day trying to settle down, rearranging furniture and decorative items around the place. Basically, trying to make it feel like home, however the news that you had read that morning did not seem to leave your thoughts. </p>
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    <div class="">
      <p>
        <em>Right then you knew what you had to do</em>
      </p>
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    <div class="">
      <p>You didn’t have anything to lose after all, <em>did you? </em>Every ounce of innocence and reluctance had been washed away the moment the bloodied knife had connected with its target and that left no room for regrets. Once there had been no going back you chose to never look back again. There was no denying of the clear recognition of the darkness swimming behind Andrew’s eyes, that familiar all-consuming storm that clouds all rational thoughts and sensitivity, <em><strong>survival</strong></em>…</p>
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      <p>There were no doubts in your mind the moment that your fingers hovered over Miss Ferguson’s name, she would indeed know the information that you needed. Just a few minutes over the phone and you had in your hands, however the question that now remained was <strong><em>‘would it work?’</em></strong>. You had no time left to ponder on the endless possibilities as you rushed to the kitchen to work in your best dish.</p>
    </div>
    <div class="">
      <p>
        <a href="https://ibb.co/SrLJzzt">
          
        </a>
      </p>
      <p>
        <em>He was paralyzed</em>
      </p>
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      <p>The emanating coldness from the room seeped right through his bones as he became fazed by his newfound unsettling reality. His son was gone, <strong><em>truly gone </em></strong>and he would never see him again. His hand, tightly pressed over his mouth, was the only thing that muffled the crying gasp threatening to escape his lips. He <em>mourned </em>the absence of his child, the cruelty of the world and the unjust treatment of society that played a significant role in his family’s downfall. It was his name being called in the distance what brought him out of the spell that seemed to cloud his mind</p>
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    <div class="">
      <p>“Mr. Barber? <em>Are you okay?</em>” Mary, one of the floor nurses, asked him, clearly recognizing him from before. A sincere question born out of interest over the emotionally affected father.</p>
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    <div class="">
      <p>He silently nodded, throwing one last look at the now empty room where Jacob had once laid, before walking away and grateful over receiving Lynn’s clear up of the matter being handled effectively, he did not think twice before looking for the closest exit.</p>
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    <div class="">
      <p>
        <strong>
          <em>That’s when it hit him</em>
        </strong>
      </p>
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    <div class="">
      <p>He cared about Laurie, he <em>undoubtedly </em>loved her as <em>the mother of his only son</em> and <em>the woman that he had shared most of his life with </em>and it had pained him to watch her crumble on his arms upon hearing the news of Jake’s death. Yet his heart could not ignore the fact that it had been her own doubts and her selfishness of not sharing her feelings with him which at the end had driven them to Jake’s demise. And now, <em>he was no longer sure if he could ever get past that.</em></p>
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    <div class="">
      <p>
        <strong>
          <em>‘Will I ever be able to forgive you Laurie?’</em>
        </strong>
      </p>
    </div>
    <div class="">
      <p>
        <em>He had to get out of there</em>
      </p>
    </div>
    <div class="">
      <p>His heart beat erratically as he left the tormenting sterilized halls of the hospital only with a guiltier conscience and a heavier heart. </p>
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    <div class="">
      <p>
        <a href="https://ibb.co/SrLJzzt">
          
        </a>
      </p>
      <p>He felt<em> incredibly grateful</em> with Lynn for her efforts in assisting him at such short notice and without him requesting her to do so. She didn’t question his sudden departure, but highly encouraged him to take care of himself as harder days would come before finding peace. Yet she didn’t voice out her thoughts about how she was greatly pleased over his restraint against the man, for she had actually expected for him to at least require a quick visit to the ER<em> but that didn’t happen</em>. She could only attribute such will power to the last thread of sanity that was keeping him somewhat grounded, Laurie. Andy’s loyalty could not be ripped away from him, he was a family man even if said family was broken and currently at the edge of the abyss</p>
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    <div class="">
      <p>The way back to his place was filled with anxious thoughts about the tons of pending paperwork awaiting to be filed and for Jacob’s burial procedures to be completed. His emotionally unstable wife was hospitalized, his son was dead, the entire state knew of it all and turned their backs on them when they needed them the most. He was still astounded by the amount of doors that continued to get thrown at his face even after he dug up every available law and technicality at his reach to make them comply with their rights.    </p>
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    <div class="">
      <p>
        <em>He truly hoped that a miracle would happen to ensure a peaceful rest for his dear son</em>
      </p>
    </div>
    <div class="">
      <p>A hope that began to disappear with each passing moment and refusal email, hung up calls and rejected forms. Once again the feeling of failure filled his mind, he had failed to see the warning signs in Jake, he had failed to protect him from the world, hell! from his own mother! the same woman that he had failed to care for too. </p>
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    <div class="">
      <p>
        <em>
          <strong>He was exhausted</strong>
        </em>
      </p>
    </div>
    <div class="">
      <p>
        <em>
          <strong>Physically</strong>
        </em>
      </p>
    </div>
    <div class="">
      <p>
        <em>
          <strong>Mentally </strong>
        </em>
      </p>
    </div>
    <div class="">
      <p>
        <em>
          <strong>Emotionally </strong>
        </em>
      </p>
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    <div class="">
      <p>His whole body felt like it was about to shut itself down and he couldn’t even remember when was the last time that he had eaten. Though no appetite rumbled through. It was as if he was simply functioning by inertia, just mechanical actions driven without heart. But <em>he didn’t care</em>, at that moment for him his own health was the last of his concerns on his list. He poured himself a glass of whiskey as he casually sat down on his couch. He fidgeted his forefinger around the rim of the glass before letting the bitter taste of the liquor touch his lips, the burning sting of the liquid washing his pain away.</p>
    </div>
    <div class="">
      <p>Suddenly, the place that had once provided him comfort and that he had come to call home was a cold and empty house with haunting memories and broken dreams. Each passing day that he spent there suffocated him, he wished for nothing but to fade away into oblivion and to start anew where nobody knows who he is. Would he ever get that? His train of thoughts were interrupted by the doorbell announcing the arrival of an unexpected guest</p>
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    <div class="">
      <p>He gulped down the last of his glass before he reluctantly stood up, unenthusiastically walking towards the door. He heavily sighed, lazily placing his hand on the doorknob considering whether or not he should open it. Taking a deep breath he twisted the knob clockwise, revealing the face of one very unforeseen person,<strong><em> the one that might hold much needed answers for him...</em></strong></p>
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      <p>
        <a href="https://ibb.co/SrLJzzt">
          
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      <h2>
<strong>A/N: Thank you for reading! Your support means a lot to me💖💖💖.</strong><span> Please, don’t hesitate to let me know your thoughts in the comments below!</span>
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  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thank You for reading!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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